Jared and I love a newborn cry, it’s so sweet. It’s like their screaming with all of their might but to us it’s muted as though you’re listening through glass. We talked about it before Luke was born, how we couldn’t wait to hear it.

Yeah, that didn’t happen.  He came out with a set of fully developed lungs that was nothing like a newborn cry. He literally came screaming into this world…and he hasn’t stopped since.

I’ll be honest, he was the boy I was afraid to have.  I had no clue what to do with an ‘all boy’ boy. Loud, temperamental, controversial, one head injury after another. I wanted no part of it.

But what I didn’t know is how a boy like that can be so loving. So funny. That I would feel such pride witnessing his determination.

That underneath the tough boy exterior he needs to be loved sweetly and snuggled often, just like any other 3 year old.

It’s intense sometimes. Then I think about his future and know that it’s not my job to change him into a peaceful, docile child that makes my life easier. Instead I need to guide him and show him how to use the gifts God blessed him with so that he will be courageous and bold all the while not afraid to show how loving he truly is.

We think we know what’s best for us. I swore I was going to have three girls because it suited me. But instead I have my one beauty with 2 boys and another on the way. 3 boys.

And this one…

Well this one has taught me that my fears were unfounded. That love is not rigid. And that as a mother I can be transformed in the most incredible way by what I once feared.

I love you with all of my heart big boy.