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I was going to do this self portrait session yesterday, but I didn’t feel good. I was utterly exhausted and had zero motivation. I just felt…yuck.
Last week I found out this baby boy was breech.
And I’ve been in a funk ever since. I know it’s not devastating news, but anything at all that could potentially get in the way of a safe delivery is not what a hyper-hormonal 37 week pregnant momma wants to hear. And then there was the potential of a c-section that I wanted nothing to do with. I had just been talking about how excited I was to go into labor…and it felt like that was rudely yanked away from me and baby boy.
I needed to decide if I wanted to have a ‘version’ (where your Dr. tries to turn the baby from the outside). I’ve heard everything from ‘it’s uncomfortable’ to ‘it’s excruciating’ and admittedly I wasn’t too keen on finding out which side of the fence I would fall on.
Over and over Susan Tedeschi’s song ‘Lord, Protect My Child’ started playing in my head. After all, at the end of the day all I care about is that this child is safe and healthy…something that is so frustratingly out of my control. So I just kept praying for God to protect this child. And I prayed…that he would take this decision out of my hands.
I wound up scheduling the procedure. I visited a chiropractor certified in the Webster technique. I elevated my hips (only once…my heartburn and nausea was too powerful). I checked into the hospital this morning feeling fairly calm, trying not to focus on anything other than the best outcome.
In walked two of the cheeriest, funniest women ready to take care of me.
‘Alright I’m gonna do your ultrasound before anything else because I’m on a roll…the past three babies I checked all presented vertex’ (head down).
I perked up, they were bringing some good mojo I could feel it. They gooped up my belly and started to search for his head. Within seconds she moved the wand down low and…
He had flipped on his own. What a very, very good boy.
I nearly burst into happy, relieved tears.
I realized as the day went on that while my heartburn had subsided, my waddling had accentuated. But for real ya’ll, waddling beats heartburn any day of the week. I felt rejuvenated and decided today was the day for my maternity self portrait session.
Luke helped me make sure my setting were right.
This little guy popped in for a couple…
Goodness he melts me.
Just 3 more weeks to go…
Can’t wait to meet you sweet boy.
I can’t emphasize enough how much I love to photograph young families. Small children are just plain awesome, whether they love me or not they certainly keep me on my toes! One might say it’s even exhilarating.
This gorgeous family was no exception. These kids were bundles of energy and I loved capturing their zeal.
Lifestyle photography is far from perfect. Instead you get the real deal…the silly faces, the personality, the authentic memory.
And of course the true spirit.
Not to say that a good portrait doesn’t hold it’s value. Doesn’t her beauty catch your breath?
Can a photographer get any luckier than with a stylish family like this?
Aaaaaaand back to living the adventure…(yes, he is a monkey in a tree and no it was not my idea – safety disclaimer
Never lose your love of life little ones…
I’m pretty sure we captured her first heartbreak on video.
We did a gender reveal with the kids and Grace bit into her cupcake first.
“Aww” she said with a disappointed swing in her voice.
And we knew it was a boy.
We all laughed and chattered in bewilderment at yet another boy roommate. She had been giggling out of nervousness but when I looked over again she could no longer keep the corners of her mouth up. It fell, hard…and the tears welled up in her eyes.
She had wanted a baby sister so badly.
I turned off the camera and Jared pulled her into his arms. She began to sob and just couldn’t stop. He took her in the other room and a few minutes later I went in to check on them.
“You know what sweetheart” I whispered to her, “we all would have loved for this baby to be a girl. But you know what it means that it’s a boy? It means that you are our one and only. You are our special girl.”
And I’m telling you that I meant it with every fiber of my being.
Nature girl. With bows in her hair and painted nails she’ll make habitats for stuffed animals out of grass and mud and water.
Sometimes the energy is overwhelming and out of control…like bedtime. And often it’s plain hard and I feel like she’s lost in her head somewhere and my voice is drown out. But sometimes the energy is beautiful and infectious.
Head in the clouds.
xoxo my sweet, sweet girl.
Jared and I love a newborn cry, it’s so sweet. It’s like their screaming with all of their might but to us it’s muted as though you’re listening through glass. We talked about it before Luke was born, how we couldn’t wait to hear it.
Yeah, that didn’t happen. He came out with a set of fully developed lungs that was nothing like a newborn cry. He literally came screaming into this world…and he hasn’t stopped since.
I’ll be honest, he was the boy I was afraid to have. I had no clue what to do with an ‘all boy’ boy. Loud, temperamental, controversial, one head injury after another. I wanted no part of it.
But what I didn’t know is how a boy like that can be so loving. So funny. That I would feel such pride witnessing his determination.
That underneath the tough boy exterior he needs to be loved sweetly and snuggled often, just like any other 3 year old.
It’s intense sometimes. Then I think about his future and know that it’s not my job to change him into a peaceful, docile child that makes my life easier. Instead I need to guide him and show him how to use the gifts God blessed him with so that he will be courageous and bold all the while not afraid to show how loving he truly is.
We think we know what’s best for us. I swore I was going to have three girls because it suited me. But instead I have my one beauty with 2 boys and another on the way. 3 boys.
Well this one has taught me that my fears were unfounded. That love is not rigid. And that as a mother I can be transformed in the most incredible way by what I once feared.
I love you with all of my heart big boy.